220px-Hipster_wifebeater_shirt

Observe the elusive hipster
in his natural habitat.
Wearing the tribal garb
of Chucks, skinny jeans
and flannel–gauges and
other various piercings
for the more exotic
members of the species.
Note the self-rolled
cigarette, filled with
American Spirit tobacco
in one hand, and the
can of Pabst Blue Ribbon
in the other.
This species migrates
by using public transportation
or bicycles.
Dwellings tend to be
a delicate ecosystem
filled with many
inhabitants, none of which
has a full time job.
Mating rituals are
complex: the male
usually exhibits
indifference to gain
the attention of the female.
She will then employ
text messaging to gain
the approval of others
in her tribe, then a
strategy, usually involving
research of Wikipedia
entries of now defunct
punk bands, which
originated in Seattle
or Portland.
The female hunts the male
for several weeks by
“hanging out or whatever”
until trust is achieved.
Soon after follows
fondling and coitus,
a 6-week courtship
which disintegrates
because of the male’s
unwillingness to change
the style of his facial hair.
If a female hipster
brings a fetus to full-term,
parenthood usually transforms
both partners out of hipster hood
to become hip parents instead.

(These are incomplete field notes,
and I intend to continue my observations
of the species.)

 

 

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