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1.158003

Let me set you straight,
right from the start–
being a diva isn’t something
that you can work at
something that is cultivated…
you are either a diva or you aren’t.
I’m sick of people thinking
it’s anything other than innate.
Sure, I may make it look easy,
but that’s because
I’m a fucking diva.
When I was born,
I came out out of the womb
with diamond earrings,
a boa, and a tiara.
Instead of the doctor slapping my ass,
I slapped him in the face.
If there’s one characteristic
universal to all divas,
that would be
the absolute conviction
that you’re slightly better
than everyone else.
(And in most cases, more than slightly).
This isn’t something we divas
rub in people’s faces, unless they’re
really asking for it.
It helps to wear a lot of leopard print,
sip martinis and come slightly overdressed
for every occasion.
But the long and short of it is
you either got the diva or you don’t.
And if you really have to ask yourself,
I hate to tell you,
but you probably don’t.

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