Lights up.

Dressing room area in a women’s department store.

AMY is trying on dresses. Her mother, TINA, sits in the waiting area and gives critiques on the dresses.

AMY is inside the dressing room. We can only see her feet.

TINA: How’s it going in here?

AMY: Almost done, I’m coming out.

Amy comes out of the dressing room in a form-fitting black dress. She looks amazing.

AMY: Well, what do you think? I really like it.

She sees herself in the mirror and feels pretty. This is a rare feeling for her.

TINA: Oh, I do not know. I just do not know.

AMY: What? It’s a nice dress. I’m doing the hair for the wedding, so I want to fit in and look professional–I don’t want to upstage anyone.

TINA: What about that lavender one? I liked that one. That one was nice.

AMY: It didn’t fit me. It was two sizes too big.

TINA: It was modest, though.

AMY: Modest.

TINA: It covered up your (LONG beat. In a stage whisper.) decolletage.

AMY: (grinds teeth, furrows brow) Mom. The amount of decolletage on this dress is fine. It’s tasteful.

TINA: I would respectfully disagree, honey. That dress…that dress…it’s just too slutty.


TINA: I’m sorry, dear, but it’s true. A woman showing up to a wedding in that dress is only looking for one thing.

AMY: And that would be…

TINA: I will leave that to your imagination. Unlike that dress. That dress leaves nothing to the imagination.

AMY: I have worked really hard to finally feel comfortable in my body. This dress makes me feel amazing. It is a perfectly fine dress to wear to this wedding.

TINA: Amy, it is up to you what you want to wear. But you brought me along today to get my opinion. And my opinion is that you will get too much unwanted attention in that dress.

AMY: What, you think the men just won’t be able to control themselves? That they’ll see me in this dress and just want to rip it off my body?!

TINA: Simply put, yes. They will try to control themselves, of course. But get a couple of drinks in them at the reception and one of them will be trying to make out with you in a dark corner.

AMY: Mother, I can take care of myself. Give me a little more credit.

TINA: Amy, it’s not you I’m worried about. I’m saying this out of love. Men are predisposed to treat a woman differently when she’s showing that much skin.

AMY: So, say, if a woman is sexually assaulted and she was wearing a dress like this, you would think it’s her fault?

TINA: (Another long beat. Then, pointedly.) I’m just saying you can never be too careful.

AMY: I can’t believe that’s how you feel.

TINA: I think you should keep trying on dresses. That’s all I’m saying.

AMY: No, it’s not.

She goes back into the dressing room and quickly changes into her street clothes.

AMY: You know what, mom? I want to thank you for coming shopping with me. It’s make it really clear which dress I want to buy. I want to buy the dress that makes me feel confident and beautiful, which is this black dress. And I am going to trust myself and the men around me that we can all have good time at the wedding without worrying about who’s showing too much cleavage. That we’ll all be adults and make our own respectful choices. Jesus.

By the end of the monologue she has stormed out with the black dress to purchase it, flinging the lavender dress at her mother on her way out.

TINA regards the lavender dress. She looks over both shoulders before sneaking the dress into her purse.

TINA: Just in case.

She exits. A few seconds later we hear the store alarm being triggered by the stolen dress in her bag.

End of play.