Lights up. plays


MIRA sits typing at her laptop.

STU enters. Scopes the place out, sees MIRA, walks over.

STU: Mind if I set here? (he starts to put his things down)

MIRA: Yes.

STU: Pardon?

MIRA: Yes, I do mind. There are plenty of other seats available and I like my space.

Miffed, STU sits at the table next to MIRA’s.

STU: (under his breath) Bitch.

MIRA: Say that again.

STU: Say what again?

MIRA: Say what you just said.

STU: Lady, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

MIRA: You asked a question before, you asked “Mind if I sit here?” and I answered honestly. How does that make me a bitch?

STU: Calm down!

MIRA: You’re insulting me! I don’t have to be calm! I’m going to stand up for myself.

STU: Listen, honey–

MIRA: Try again. I’m not your honey. I’m no one’s honey.

STU: Wonder why…

MIRA: I suggest you go order your coffee and then sit and drink it on the other side of this coffeeshop.

STU: It’s a free country.

MIRA: That it is, sir. That it is.

She writes a sign and places it at his table. It reads “A RUDE MAN” and points to him.

He reads the sign and then crumples it up.

She makes a new one.

He rips it into pieces.

She makes a third sign.

He takes out a lighter and burns it, dropping it into the pitcher of water on the table.

She starts to make a fourth sign.

STU: Look, why don’t you just leave?

MIRA: I was here first.

STU: I’m just going to wreck whatever sign you make.

MIRA: You don’t get to take up as much space as you want wherever you want just because you’re a man. It’s not your right. You’re not entitled to anything. You need to be a decent person, just like everyone else. Girls are conditioned to be docile and I am fucking sick of it. And you have pushed me way too far today, buddy. So I will keep making these signs and putting them on your table until you walk the fuck away. Got it?

STU: Jesus. What the hell is your problem?!

He takes his stuff and goes.

MIRA takes a deep breath, returns to her laptop and types with determination.

End of play.